


Emerging Wings

by FormidablePassion, pherryt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom!Cas, Canon Typical Violence, Dean in Denial, Grace Bond, Gratuitous light bulb breaking, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Mating, Strong Language, Wing Growth, Wink!kink, cas driving the impala, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:45:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormidablePassion/pseuds/FormidablePassion, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: When Dean’s back starts causing him trouble, he just thought he was getting on in age. Nothing could have prepared him for the truth.Or how it would free him





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work was created for the [Destiel Reverse Bang](https://destielreversebang.tumblr.com/). For anyone unfamiliar with Reverse Bangs - A single piece of art is made first and then the ARTISTS get picked by the WRITERS and someone makes an awesome story based on YOUR ideas!
> 
> This was my first year doing this and I was absolutely thrilled when I got my pick. My artist is the lovely [dragonpressgraphics](https://dragonpressgraphics.tumblr.com/) ([pherryt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt) here on Ao3).  
> The art for the story can be found [right here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10910580), you should go show her some love. Not only is she an amazing artist that I am lucky to work with (she is also my artist for spn mega bang!) but she is an amazing person. This story is just as much hers as it is mine. The moment that I knew I had her piece of art we started brainstorming. I bounced all my idea off of her and she made so many amazing additions to this fic. Not to mention, she has been _super_ patient with me through all of this. Thank you so much!  
>   
>  I would also like to thank all my beta’s it was truly a group effort. Thank you [Laney](http://when-the-day--met-the-night.tumblr.com/), [Mindy](http://madamelibrarian.tumblr.com/), and [Ashley](http://jhoomwrites.tumblr.com) you all helped me out so much. Without every single one of you this would have been much more difficult and some things just wouldn't have been as good.  
>   
> I really need to extend a huge thank you to [buffenator](http://buffenator.tumblr.com/)  
> [(kittenbot here on Ao3)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenBot) because in the eleventh hour she spent over 5 hours on a skype call with me and my artist as the three of us went through the entire story to fine tune it to what you have today. I also need to add a disclaimer: **she is absolutely not responsible for any sentences that may end on a preposition.** That is all me.  
>   
>  Finally, thank you to the mods that run the DRB, without this bang this story would not exist.  
>   
> This entire thing has been so fun to write and I adore it. As soon as I saw the picture I knew I had to have it in order to write a story around it. I had already determined that if I didn’t get that picture I was still going to write a story for it. I wanted to do something different here and I feel like I accomplished that.  
>   
> I hope that you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> 

 

 

Castiel noticed the pain Dean was hiding before he even mentioned it. They had spent several weeks together tracking down hunts, Sam and Dean searching on the computer and Cas combing through newspapers. Sam didn’t seem to notice the fidgeting Dean did when he was sitting for too long, frequently excusing himself to the kitchen for coffee or a beer. Cas saw it for what it was; he was uncomfortable, he  needed to get up and stretch out his back so that he could spend more hours pouring over articles, hoping to find something that looked like their type of gig.

Cas didn’t mention it to Dean or Sam. Cas had been around long enough to see each of the Winchester brothers grow, age, mature, and with it, endure the physical aches that came with age and the unique pains that followed  their lives as hunters. Often times Cas would follow Dean to the bunker kitchen, claiming that although it wouldn’t do anything, he’d join him in the occasional beer or cup of coffee. During those times, he would quietly brush up against Dean, slowly releasing some healing grace into him, easing some of his pain. If Dean knew what transpired, he never commented on it. It didn’t seem to last long, though; a day or two later and he would be back to showing the same signs. If it weren’t for his years of familiarity with the older Winchester, he likely would have missed the subtle signs of Dean’s discomfort.

It was on a rainy summer afternoon when Cas finally found an article; local hikers going missing in mysterious circumstances. The facts all lined up, making him think that it was worth investigating. It was going to be a team effort as usual, but at the last second Dean insisted that Sam stay back at the bunker. “You need to be here just in case Cas and I need information from the library or something.”

Sam had leveled him with a skeptical look when he told him that. It wasn’t lost on Sam or Cas the way that Dean had put himself between them. Dean stood in front of Cas, tall and straight-backed with a challenge on his face until Sam relented. Dean didn’t visibly release the tension from his body until the two of them were pulling out of the bunker and on the highway headed towards Iowa.

The drive to Bridgewater wasn’t long, less than five hours, so they didn’t stop until they arrived. Pulling into the parking lot of a run-down motel, Dean parked the car, groaning with relief as he stretched stiff muscles. Grabbing a room with two beds, even though Cas didn’t require sleep, Dean grabbed his duffle and they headed in.

After two days of investigating, they were able to determine that they were dealing with a water sprite. After obtaining the items to handle the sprite they set off to the Mormon Trail County Park at dusk, the official closing time.

Everything was going fine; with Dean handing the water sprite, soon Bridgewater was going to be a safer place for everyone. Neither of them could have predicted the angry vampire that came from the woods, bowling Dean over to protect the sprite. As soon as Cas realized what was happening, he put his hand against the vampire’s head and burned the life from him, watching him slump down next to the water.

When Cas went to check on Dean, the hunter flippantly declared that he was fine and only needed to lie down. “Nothing a little rest won’t cure Cas, just need my four hours.”

After all these year Cas knew enough to know Dean was in a significant amount of pain, pain he would never admit to, but he didn’t push harder. Dean would rest and if things weren’t better in the morning, Cas would reconsider his options.

At the hotel that night, Cas watched as Dean walked over to the bed he had claimed. Sparing a glance over to the empty bed, eyes flitting quickly over to Dean as he moved to kick off his shoes. Cas stood and watched him. Every movement seemed to cause Dean discomfort.

“Dean, if you’re in pain, I can help—”

Dean cut him off, “Nah, Cas. I told you, I’m fine. Just a little R&R and I’ll be as good as new.” Dean turned to him and gave a sly smirk that looked more like a grimace as he winked.

Cas kept his suspicions about Dean’s well-being to himself, not wanting to illicit an argument with the pig-headed man.

“You can, you know,” Dean waved his hand around in the air, Cas tilted his head, “go do something. Don’t have to stick around here.” Dean fell onto more than laid down on the bed.

“I know, Dean. I will consider it,” he lied. Dean gave a quiet hum of acknowledgement before almost immediately falling asleep.

 

During the night, Cas watched over Dean. The movements seemed on par with any other night that Dean would dream. It wasn’t until he smelled the abundance of sweat that he was alerted to the fact that there may be something wrong. Cautiously walking towards Dean, he went to rest his hand on Dean’s head to take his temperature. Even before he was close enough to touch him, he could feel the heat radiating off of him. Soft whimpers began falling from Dean as soon as Cas put his fingers on Dean’s forehead. He was hot, hotter than any human should be. Cas attempted to push his grace through Dean, to take away the fever and heal whatever it was that ailed the hunter. When he was unsuccessful a small wave of panic flooded through him.

Cas laid a hand on Dean’s, shoulder shaking him carefully. “Dean. Wake up.” Dean’s eyes opened and stared vacantly, unfocused. “Dean.”

Dean’s face then crumpled in pain. “Cas. Fuck.” He rolled over onto his back and his intake of breath was the only indication that it caused him pain.

“Dean, I can’t heal you.”

Dean’s eyes widened at the admission. “What do you mean, you can’t heal me?” Dean demanded.

“I don’t know what happened. I can’t…” Cas let the sentence trail off; thinking it was already bad enough, saying it out loud was enough to make him feel out of control. “Dean, did anything happen with that water sprite?” Cas asked suddenly.

“I ganked it, Cas.” Dean’s voice was lined with pain.

“Did anything else happen? Did it touch you? Did it have time to utter any type of harmful spell?” Cas demanded an answer, the unfamiliar feeling of panic rising in his chest.

“How the hell am I supposed to know, Cas?”

“You would know if it touched you, Dean.” Cas’ calm demeanor began to slip at the idea that he wouldn’t be able to heal Dean of whatever the water sprite had done.

Dean groaned in pain, “It didn’t touch me, Cas.”

Cas stared at Dean while he went through his knowledge of water sprites. Then realizing that maybe it wasn’t the water sprite at all, he looked over at Dean, now curled into the fetal position on the bed with small tremors wracking his body.

“The vampire,” Cas whispered. Dean opened one eye and glared at him the best he could. “Dean I need to check your body.”

“The hell you do, Cas,” Dean’s voice was rough and shaky.

“Did the vampire stick you with anything? Put a hex bag on your person? They could have been practicing some sort of witchcraft.” Cas threw the option out there, the whole time hoping that it was something as simple as a hex bag in Dean’s pocket.  

“Dude, no. I don’t think so. I have nothing on me, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve felt if they stuck me with anything, or heard them cursing me.” Dean closed his eyes as he curled tighter around himself.

Cas pulled the blankets over his best friend. “Get some rest, Dean. We will be leaving as soon as I pack up the Impala.”

It was a testament to how terrible Dean felt that he didn’t make any comment or put up an argument. Cas packed their meager supplies and placed them all in the trunk of the Impala, his mind racing over what was going on with Dean. He knew the almost five hour drive was not going to be easy on Dean, but he also knew that they would have a better chance of figuring out what was going on if they were in the bunker with the library at their disposal.

Less than an hour later Cas had the Impala packed up and ready to go. He crouched down next to the bed, noticing Dean’s temperature had spiked even higher. “Dean. It is time to go.” Cas schooled his voice and face into a mask of complete calm. He didn’t want to worry Dean; he was already worried enough for the both of them.

Glassy eyes slowly blinked open. “Hey, Cas.” Cas couldn’t help but smile at the tenderness in the words, spoken so softly in the night, absorbed into the walls of a random room in Bridgeforth, lost forever. Those two words made Cas’ heart twist.

“It is time to get back home, Dean.” A slow smile crept over Dean’s face.

“Yeah, home. Let’s do that.” When Dean attempted to sit up his arms gave way and he slumped back onto the bed. “Doesn’t look like that’s happening right now, buddy.”

Frustrated, Cas lifted Dean up to a sitting position. “Dean, I’m going to carry you to the car.”

When Cas lifted Dean over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry Dean cried out. Cas winced.  
“Hang in there, Dean,” Cas whispered more to himself than to Dean. Closing the door to the hotel, he attempted to set Dean into the back seat.

“Wha’ are you doin’ man? I needa drive.” Dean slurred his words in the haze of the fever.

“Not tonight, Dean.”

“Then a’least pu’ me up fron’,” Dean insisted.

Cas opened the passenger door and carefully placed Dean down on the bench seat, taking care to tuck him in so the door wouldn’t catch an errant limb, and then walked around to the driver side of the car. Sliding in and looking over at Dean as he leaned against the door, small breaths ghosting across the window, fogging it up in spite of the warm summer air outside.

Cas felt his chest tighten watching the other man before starting the car. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with Dean but he would do everything in his power to figure it out; he would give his life to save him, his life would be meaningless without the hunter.

  


 

  


 

 

Dean held back every moan and whimper of pain that shot through him as Cas drove across the fairly smooth highway back towards the bunker. He refused to let the angel know how much pain he was in.

While he had been experiencing back pain for close to a month, he never told Cas or Sam about it. He would pop a few aspirin and get on with life, that was how it was. This time around, it didn’t seem to be helping. Shrouded in the darkness, Dean bit his lip as they passed over the next small bump in the road. Trying to keep his mind off the immense pain, he went over in his head what could have caused his back pain to suddenly intensify. It could only have been because of the vamp knocking him down. That wouldn’t explain the fever though. He knew he didn’t get close enough to the water sprite to be cursed or touched. The only words the vamp spoke to him were ones of dangerous passion, threats against his life for taking the love of their life away. A vamp that fell for a water sprite, who knew. But it also wouldn’t explain why Cas couldn’t heal him.

The next bump had Dean biting his lip so hard he tasted tangy copper on his tongue. Sitting up, he barely registered Cas’ startled look. Feeling the blue eyes boring into him he gave in, like he never allowed himself to, and laid his head on Cas’ shoulder. If he was going to suffer he may as well seek the comfort of another person, or angel, while he did. Once in contact with his angel, Dean felt better, cooler even. As his eyes fluttered closed and he fell back into a fever dream, he was unable to care that he thought of Cas as _his_ angel.

When he woke his head was resting on Cas’ thigh. He was too busy focusing on the lancing pain in his shoulder blades to give a thought to the fact that Cas had deliciously muscular thighs; perfect for pillows. Cas shifted his upper body slightly and Dean held in a whimper as he felt his Baby move down a familiar gravel road. They must be home. There was no highway that bumpy.

As soon as the engine died, Dean felt a cool hand against his arm. On the inside Dean felt like he had a fire burning, flames licking at his muscles, curling around his spine and shoulder blades. He knew that he must be burning up. Not ready to give up the small comfort that Cas’ thigh provided him, he turned his face into Cas’ leg, breathing in deeply, his mind going blank. He’d swear that he could even smell a hint of… _Is that apple spice? Did Cas shower using an apple body wash? Did Cas even shower?._

  
  


Before he had too much time to dwell on the smell he was softly shaken by Cas. Cool hand still against his right shoulder, it felt like Cas was leaving a cold brand against it, a twin, opposite in every respect to the fiery brand the angel gifted his left shoulder.

“Dean, we’re home.” Dean allowed Cas to lift him up to a sitting position but couldn’t seem to find the energy to move out of the car. Sensing his lethargy Cas exited the car and moved to the passenger side, slowly sliding Dean out. Unable to hold himself up with his own legs Cas leaned down and placed his hands under Dean’s knees and swept him up into a bridal carry.

Wanting to put up a protest, Dean opened his mouth but all that came out was a whine of pain. Fire boiled across his skin where Cas’ arm touched his back, muscles seizing up under the pressure.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel mumbled the apology so low he was sure that the angel didn’t intend on him hearing it. Curled against Cas’ chest, trying to escape the feeling of his arm against his back, Dean couldn’t help but think about how much smoother a ride it was to be in Cas’ arms than it was to ride in his Baby. At least in the condition he was in.

Dean was barely aware of the noises around him. Too content in Cas’ arms, he was only vaguely aware of his brother’s voice as Sam asked Cas twenty questions.

“What happened?” Sam was trying to whisper.

“I don’t know. His temperature is well above safe limits.” Cas sounded distraught.

“Then he needs to go to a hospital, or, or... _heal him_ , Cas,” Sam growled.

“Do you think I didn’t try, Sam? I can’t,” Cas hissed, frustration lacing his words. “I believe whatever is happening is supernatural and blocking my grace.”

Dean wanted to tell Sammy that he was fine, that he didn’t need to worry. He’d always be fine. Even if he was in a life or death situation, Cas was there to pull him through.

He was unaware that words came out in desperate, pain-filled pleas. He was only slightly aware when he was set on his stomach on a familiar bed, sinking into what his mind helpfully reminded him was his memory foam. He reached out his arm in an attempt to grab onto his angel. The one person that was able to take away a little of the pain. All he heard before finally slipping into unconsciousness was the deep voice of Cas. “Of course, Dean.”

 

When Dean woke next Cas was near the bed, lore book in one hand and the other carding softly through Dean’s hair. Dean let out a soft sigh at the contact and Castiel’s hand stilled as he looked over; seeing Dean watching him he pulled his hand away, a look of guilt on his face. Dean held back the whimper of disappointment at the loss of contact.

“How are you feeling, Dean?” Dean blinked a few times, taking in the aches that seemed to have seeped into his bones. He could barely move as the fiery pain engulfed his entire body, but focused mainly on his back.

“Find anything?” He nodded to the book in Cas’ hand and winced in pain at the movement.

Cas’ eyes were calm and assessing, surely seeing the pain that Dean wouldn’t admit to.

“No. Your brother and I have been reading every single thing we can find on water sprites, vampires, and even witchcraft. Nothing seems to match your current situation.” Cas’ eyes roamed over his body quickly, as if he could tell just from a glance what was wrong.

A searing stab of pain in his back forced him to cry out. Cas jumped from his chair, lore book falling to the wayside, one hand on Dean’s shoulder and the other pressing two fingers against his forehead. Curling in on himself, Dean didn’t  give in to the tears, moaning low as he heard Cas curse under his breath.

“Cas…” Dean managed to get his name out before blinding pain shot through his back again and he fell into darkness once more.

 

When he woke up again Sam was sitting in Castiel’s spot. His attention was on his laptop and Dean’s sudden intake of breath alerted Sam to his state of consciousness. “Dean! Dean, are you...fuck. Man I don’t know what to do. We can’t seem to find anything about this. I’m looking man. I swear.” Sam’s frantic words made Dean’s head pound.

“Where’s Cas?” he managed to push out through his clenched jaw.

“He went...I’ll go get him. But first, here, take these.” Sam picked up a bottle of pills, shaking them before helping Dean sit up. Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out in front of his younger brother.

After taking some pain killers, Sam gently laid him back down. “I’ll go get, Cas. Hang in there man. We’re going to fix this.” Dean closed his eyes against the words and the sight of unshed tears in Sam’s eyes.

“Yeah. Go.” Dean listened for his door to close again before groaning out in pain. There was a constant throbbing under his skin, it felt like his bones were too big and trying to escape.

The moment Cas appeared he gave in. “Cas… it hurts.” Dean felt safer admitting his pain and showing his vulnerability to Castiel for some reason.

“Where does it hurt, Dean?” Cas hesitated as he reached out for Dean, stopping short, fingers twitching.

Dean wanted him to touch, it helped sometimes. “My back. It feels like there’s a million needles in my bones. My skin, my skin is too tight, Cas. There’s...fuck.” Dean whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt the cooling touch of his angel barely grazing between his shoulder blades. Everywhere those fingertips barely touched it felt like ice sliding over his skin. “I’m on fire, Cas. It feels…” Dean began sobbing, “It feels like when I was in Hell,” he whispered. “Worse. I could handle my skin being filleted off. This is worse. At least in hell the fire was on the outside. I can’t make it stop.”

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was barely above a whisper so Dean almost didn’t hear it over his own sobbing.

“Cas. Please. I don’t...I can’t-” Dean screamed out when he felt Cas’ hands on his back, feeling around firmly. Pain lanced through Dean’s body, his muscles jumped and screamed in protest. It hurt, but it felt strangely good at the same time.

Dean whimpered in pain as Cas sat there with his hands, lighter touches now, roamed over his back. A sharp intake of breath had Dean turning to look at Cas before he could stop himself. He screamed out in pain as his vision blurred and went dark. Surely he misheard.

“Dean, you’re growing wings.”


	2. Chapter 2

  
  


After getting Dean as comfortable as possible, Cas ran his fingers quickly through Dean’s hair as he watched his lips turn down in pain even in unconsciousness. He stared at Dean, studying his soul. It was undeniable what he was seeing. “I’ll be back, Dean.” 

Castiel quietly left the room and quickly found Sam in the library putting some of the lore books away while pulling others off the shelves. “Man, I really wish we still had some of Bobby’s lore books,” Sam mentioned. At Cas’ silence Sam turned to him, eyes opening wide in fear. 

“What’s wrong, Cas? Is Dean-”

“Dean, is going to be fine, I think,” Cas said uncertainly. 

Looking at Cas incredulously, Sam asked, “You  _ think _ , Cas?” 

“I need you to pull every book that we have on angels, find everything that you can on the computer. We need to see if the Men of Letters ever mention anything about humans growing wings.” Cas began scanning the bindings of the books and pulling some off the shelves. 

“What? What are you saying? Dean is… Dean is growing  _ wings _ ?” Sam sounded as if he couldn’t believe it. Cas wouldn’t have either if he hadn’t felt the familiar bone structure growing quickly along his spine.

  
“Yes, that is what appears to be happening.” Cas continued his way down the shelves with Sam following close behind.

“ _ Angel _ wings?” Sam asked, taking the books that Cas handed him. 

“Yes, Sam. Angel wings. I can even sense his grace, it is growing somehow.” Cas opened one of the books, scanning the pages before putting it back on the shelf. 

“Wait, what? His  _ grace _ ?” Sam put a hand on Cas’ arm and stopped him from going further into the library. “You need to stop and explain this to me, Castiel. I need to know what the hell is going on.” 

Letting out a frustrated breath Cas turned to Sam. “When I pulled your brother from Hell a small piece of my grace was left inside of him, leaving my mark on him. It was,” Cas paused to think of the right word, “unavoidable.” 

“So you’re telling me that all these years, since you pulled him  _ from Hell, _ Dean has had grace inside of him?” Sam asked incredulously. 

“A very small amount, yes. Have you never noticed how rare it is for Dean to come down with any illness? He doesn’t get fatigued as quickly as he should. He most definitely did not earn his strength and occasional speed by exercising regularly and keeping a healthy diet, Sam.” 

“I’ve never realized it was something I should have questioned. I just assumed that he worked out when I wasn’t around so I couldn’t catch him doing the same things that he teases me about.” Sam spoke slowly, his mind obviously going over previous incidents in his mind. 

“Honestly, after all these years I’m surprised he’s never noticed something unusual, but that is Dean. I am a bit perplexed as to why you’ve never been curious about it or questioned the matter.” Satisfied he wouldn’t be stopped again Cas went back to dusting off any book that may have any mention of angels or wings.

“So,” Sam started speaking as he pieced together the things Cas told him and forming questions. “Dean is  _ growing _ angel wings, the grace you left behind in his body is also growing. So is it  _ your _ grace or what? And  _ why _ is this even happening?” Sam continued to take books from Cas, happy to let Cas find the ones they needed to go over. 

“Through all these years the grace was always mine. It has never diminished because it was used to piece his soul back together, much like kintsugi. To attempt to extract it would have proved incredibly painful, shattering his soul, and possibly even resulting in his death. I would never do that to Dean.” Cas turned with an armful of books and went to the tables setting them down.

“So why have you never mentioned this before?” Sam looked more curious than angry, although Cas knew the anger was simmering just below the surface. 

“Sam, if I had mentioned it to Dean, when Metatron took my grace what do you think Dean would have tried to do?” Castiel waited patiently for Sam to answer. 

“He would have tried to give it back to you.” Sam’s eyes dawned with understanding. 

“Exactly. There was no way I would have done that to Dean. My grace has always bound us together—” 

“Your  _ profound bond _ ?” Sam interrupted to ask. 

“Yes, Sam. However, when I was in there just now, he passed out and I took a moment to look at his soul. I’m so used to seeing it’s brilliance,” Sam raised his brows at that, “that it didn’t occur to me to look closer. It would seem that my grace in his soul is knitting deeper into his soul, growing and evolving, it’s becoming something that I’ve never seen; something that is uniquely  _ his _ . I sense how powerful it is becoming, yet obviously, incredibly painful. Specifically, the physical demand on his body to grow his wings.” Cas looked over at Sam to see his questioning look.

“Wait, if he is growing wings, and he has grace, does that mean that Dean is becoming a Nephilim? If so, is he in danger of the other angels coming after him to kill him?” Sam was good at hiding his fear.

“No Sam, obviously he isn't turning into a Nephilim, you are only born a Nephilim,” Cas replied. “I’m only guessing here, since this is not something I have ever seen before, but as the grace continues to combine with his soul, the wings seem to be growing with it. They will eventually need to emerge.” Cas went back to looking at the book in front of him.

“The wings will need to emerge,” Sam repeated.

“Yes.” Cas put aside the book and opened another.

“From his body.” Sam picked up a book and opened it, eyes still on Cas.

“That is correct, Sam.” Cas hid his exasperation. 

“How, exactly, are these wings coming out of his body?” The tone of Sam’s voice had Cas looking back up at him. 

“I imagine painfully, Sam. I won’t sugar coat this. Freeing wings from inside his body will most likely be more painful than anything he endured in his years in Hell. My theory is that once his wings are fully grown, his uniquely developed grace will be as well and should be able to heal any damage. In order for the wings to be set free they will have to—”

“Rip through his skin?” Sam asked.

“I’m afraid so, I see no other way for it to happen,” Cas admitted and went back to the book on the table.

“This won’t,” Sam hesitated, “it won’t kill him will it?”

“Sam, I have as many questions about this as you do. What I am telling you is merely my assumptions, educated guesses; I need more information. We don’t even know why this is happening in the first place. Maybe you can continue to look through the library and see if there are any other books that might shed some light on this situation. I know that there is not a whole lot of information about angels to begin with, but maybe we will get lucky.” Cas needed to concentrate. He needed to find out what was happening to Dean and why. Sam was making that impossible. 

“Wouldn’t you have heard about something like this if it had happened in the past?” Sam was genuinely confused.

“There is a lot about angels that I, and many, are unaware of, Sam. Whether it was kept from us, as many things have been, or erased by reprogramming. If the Men of Letters have anything at all on angels, it might help.” Cas wasn’t thrilled with the continued line of questioning and tried not to be short with Sam.

Sam was nodding and turning away before he spoke, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like this in any of the angel lore but I’ll check everything again. Maybe you should go check on Dean.” Sam was gone in the stacks of books.

Cas turned to head back to Dean’s room to check on him, happy to get away from questions he had no answers to.

 

The next two days were spent pouring over every book, every piece of lore online, and managing Dean’s pain the best they could. Each day, Cas would sit with Dean while scanning through old books in hopes of finding any mention of something like this. More often than not, when Dean was sleeping and his whimpers of pain became too much, Cas would run fingers through his hair until he was quiet once more. Comforting Dean was the only thing he could do. They fed Dean different kinds of painkillers in hopes that they would numb some of the pain he was in. Each time that Dean would wake he would only ask for Cas. Eventually Cas didn’t leave his side. Finally, on the second day Dean spoke.

“Cas.” Dean’s voice was raspy, raw from screaming, parched from lack of water. Cas immediately grabbed the glass they kept at the bedside table and held the straw up to his mouth. Dean greedily drank every last drop of it before trying to speak again. 

“Cas. It hurts. Please. Just, can you do me a favor?” Dean’s red rimmed eyes were filled with unshed tears as they bore into him. 

“Of course, Dean.” 

His voice cracked and the tears started falling. “Kill me. Please.” 

Cas’ eyes widened. “Never that, Dean.” Dean sobbed against Cas’ chest. 

After removing his coat, Cas carefully climbed onto the bed next to Dean, easing him into his arms while he cried out in pain. 

“Please, Cas. It hurts too bad. I can’t do it. Why is this happening?” Dean sobbed.

Seeing a side of Dean he had never seen before twisted Cas’ heart in a way that he didn’t think possible. “I don’t know why this is happening, Dean. I swear that Sam and I are going to find out. We will never give up on you.” Dean’s hands fisted in Cas’ shirt, dampening the white cotton, his tears burning like holy oil on his skin where they landed. Cas held him as close as he could without hurting him. 

As they laid together, Cas noticed that Dean’s back was showing signs of the growing wings trapped under his skin. It looked deformed and uncomfortable as Cas placed his hand on the bulge of muscles and bone where the wings stretched, begging for release. 

He had given up on trying to push his grace into Dean’s body to heal him, or at least ease his pain, after the first night. Whatever transition Dean was going through would not allow for it. He could feel Dean’s grace, though. It grew stronger each day. He wasn’t sure how long it would be before it was complete. If he were to guess, it would probably be only a few more days. The wings were almost fully developed. 

Pulling out his phone, he quietly tapped a message to Sam to join him in the room. He was not willing to leave Dean’s bed when his presence seemed to bring him more comfort than he has had since this whole thing started. 

A few minutes later Sam was knocking quietly and then entering Dean’s room. If he had anything to say about finding Dean curled up against Cas, almost on top of him, he kept it to himself. Even Sam could see that Dean was more comfortable against Cas than without. Keeping their voices down so as not to disturb Dean, Cas began. 

“Sam, I have an idea. I’m not sure if it will even work, but we must try.” Sam raised his brows to Cas indicating he should continue. “I need you to summon Joshua. No one knew what happened with him after the fall, but if he is still around, he would be the one most likely to know what is happening.” 

Sam nodded. “Okay, Cas. Do I need anything special for this?” Dean stirred in Cas’ arms and somehow knowing that Dean wouldn’t want Sam to see him like this Cas quietly told Sam, “Go. I’ll text you what you need along with how to perform the summoning.” 

Understanding dawned on Sam’s face as he left just as quietly as he had arrived. Dean curled closer to Cas as a low whine of pain escaped his throat. Cas buried his nose in Dean’s hair and took a deep breath; somehow even after days of a fever high enough to kill a grown man, and sweating profusely, Dean still smelled like worn leather, whiskey, and  horse chestnut . Cas suppressed a chill as he spoke to Dean, hoping that he could hear him. 

“We are going to take care of you. We will make sure you get through this. No matter what happens, Dean. I will always be here for you.” Cas whispered as he tried to keep the trepidation from his voice. 

Cas counted the minutes until Sam texted him again. When he read the message he was as equally frustrated as the younger Winchester. Joshua wasn’t responding. He was sure that Joshua wouldn’t have been killed. Maybe he was ignoring them. Maybe he lost his wings like all the other angels. Another message came in from Sam. He quickly typed a response and held Dean’s unconscious form tightly, feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath. Listening to the blood flow through his veins with each beat of his heart, Cas was sure that it was more comforting to himself than to Dean.

“Hang in there, Dean. Sam has an idea. It might just get us some answers,” Cas whispered.

 

At some point during the night Dean woke, tipping his head to look up Cas’ chest at his face. A blush spread across his cheekbones making fever pinked cheeks a darker shade of red. 

“Hello, Dean. How are you feeling?” 

It was the first time Dean was able to move without cringing from pain. “Dirty. Sweaty,” Dean chuckled a little. “Honestly, though? I feel the best I have since this whole thing started. I don’t know what you’ve been doing, but…”  _ don’t stop  _ went unspoken. 

“I will continue with...what I’ve been doing,” Castiel said, watching with interest as the blush spread further down Dean’s neck. “Would you like to take a shower while you’re feeling a reprieve?” Cas didn’t want to push but he was willing to accompany Dean to the shower if he needed to. 

“Yeah, umm, yeah. I feel gross man.” Dean couldn’t meet Cas’ eyes. “Thanks, Cas.” 

“Of course, Dean. Anything for you.” Dean looked up at Cas, vulnerability in his eyes. They were also tinged with fear for what was happening. Carefully, Cas helped Dean up and walked him to the bathroom, providing him with a clean towel and a comfortable outfit to change into. He assured himself that Dean was capable enough to handling showering without injuring himself.

Not wanting to be away from Dean long, Cas used his grace to render the bed clean and fresh. When he’d finished, Cas smiled at the idea that Dean would be pleased and more comfortable after his shower. Cas was almost back to the bathroom when he heard Dean cry out. Running inside, Cas saw Dean standing just outside the shower, clad only in a pair of boxers and a towel over his shoulders. Cas was able to catch him just as his legs gave way from the strain of holding himself upright. 

“Damnit,” Cas mumbled as he lifted Dean into his arms and held him close, making sure that he stopped shaking before they moved back to Dean’s room. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck and buried his face into him. “Are you ready to go back to your bed?” Dean nodded miserably. 

Reaching Dean’s room, Cas carefully laid Dean face down on the bed and went to shut the door. He hadn’t managed to take more than a half step when he felt Dean grab his wrist and whisper, “Don’t leave.” 

Cas looked down at him and his chest tightened in sympathy. “I’m just going to close the door.” Dean’s hand slipped from his wrist to the bed. As soon as he was back near the bed, Dean reached for him once more. 

Cas hesitated before climbing back onto it and taking Dean in his arms once more. He would do anything for Dean, if this is what he wanted, it was the least he could do.

“It hurts less with you here,” Dean mumbled against Cas’ shirt. Without the layers of extra clothing between them Cas could feel the heat burning even hotter on Dean’s skin. He wondered if the grace coming into being inside him like this would burn him up. Cas held Dean close through the night, not once letting him go, fearful that his righteous man wouldn’t survive whatever transformation he was going through. 

 

The next day, Sam called Cas to inform him that he’d made it to his destination. “So I’m going to be leaving here in a couple hours. The plane ride won’t take long and we should be back there by early morning” Sam’s voice rang clear without interruptions in the background. 

“Excellent. Was she able to tell you anything?” Cas looked down at Dean’s face, slack in slumber. 

“Well, that’s…have you and Dean been any closer lately?” Sam asked. 

“Well, yes, Sam. I’ve barely left his side since this has started.” Cas’ curiosity surpassed his confusion while he waited for Sam to respond. 

“No, before it started happening?” Sam clarified.

Cas thought about it for a moment. “Nothing out of the ordinary. We’ve spent more time together since I’ve been sticking around the bunker in the last few months. That isn’t unusual, though. Why do you ask?”

“Shit.” He heard Sam even though it sounded like he said it under his breath. “Listen, Cas. We’ll be there before sunrise. We’ll explain everything to you then. Just, keep Dean safe and comfortable.” 

“I always will, Sam,” Cas assured him before they hung up. 

Cas ran his fingers carefully up and down Dean’s arm as he spoke to him, “They will be here soon, Dean. Hopefully we will have it all figured out in the next day or two.” 

Dean snuggled closer in response, pushing his face into Cas’ throat and breathing deep, his body relaxing against Castiel’s.

Cas assumed that the close proximity of another angel was helping to ease the change in Dean. While still painful, Dean was at least not screaming and crying out as often while Cas held him. He would hold Dean through it all if it meant helping ease his pain. He would hold Dean. Just to hold him.

Half a day had passed before Castiel heard life beyond Dean’s door. He heard two voices. Looking down at Dean’s sleeping form, he carefully maneuvered out from under him and moved silently through the bunker. Just as he saw Sam with Lily trailing behind him he was alerted to the banging on the door.

Before Sam had a chance to react Cas was half-way up the stairs. He knew that Sam was watching him and had the same question of who was beyond the door. Most people who knew the bunker location were either dead or simply appeared inside. When Cas opened the heavy door he was not expecting to find the shorter, dark-skinned man with his brow furrowed and a frown pulling his lips down. 

Castiel took a relieved breath, “Joshua.” The man glared at him.

“Are you gonna let me in?” his voice was curt and Cas stepped aside letting the angel walk inside. 

“I got a summoning. Without wings it isn’t as easy to respond to those. It isn’t like you give your phone number to call and leave a message,” Joshua snarked. 

Sam perked up. “Joshua. You came.” He turned and gave Lily a look. 

“You summoned me specifically, Samuel. What is your need?” he asked solemnly. 

“Well, you see—” Sam’s words were cut off by a cry that echoed through the bunker. Cas moved immediately,rushing towards Dean’s room as the man cried out again. He took heed not to rip the door from it’s hinges in his haste to get to Dean and comfort him. 

Dean was curled in on himself, clad in only a pair of boxers. The sheet was kicked to the side, sweat darkening the fabric, and his hands curled over his shoulders as far as they could in an attempt reach his back. He whimpered and looked up at the sound of Cas walking back in. “Cas.” His voice was quiet but quivered in pain. 

“I’m here, Dean.” Cas moved to take Dean in his arms, carefully avoiding any sudden movements that would jostle him and cause him more pain. As soon as they were together on the bed, Dean shivering in his arms as he held back his cries, they heard movement at the door. Before he was able to think better of it, Dean’s head snapped up at the noise, obviously more than one person, and the agonized sob ripped out of him as he lowered his head back to Cas’ shoulder, seeking the comfort he found there.

It was the sharp intake of breath from Lily and the deep resigned sigh from Joshua that brought Cas’ attention back to the three people now standing in Dean’s room staring at the pair curled into one another. Cas’ first thought was how Dean would not be happy that others saw him like this, at his most vulnerable, needing Cas for comfort in a way that he wouldn’t normally allow himself to seek out.

The look on Lily and Joshua's faces brought his full attention to them. Joshua’s face was pensive, while Lily’s held shock and disbelief. Sam was staring at them both, waiting. “What? Tell me.” Cas cared little that his tone was demanding. When it came to Dean he would go against his own father—and has in a way—to do whatever he had to in order to protect Dean. He tightened his grip on Dean, hand moving to his left shoulder without thought.

Joshua just shook his head imperceptibly, a movement that Cas only caught because he was an angel. It was Lily that finally spoke up. “Castiel.” Her voice was soft and unsure. “When did you and Dean mate?” 

Dean’s voice accompanied a jerk of his head  as he looked up and screamed, in pain and confusion, “WHAT?” The reverberation from Dean’s voice caused Sam and Lily both had to cover their ears before Dean passed out again.


	3. Chapter 3

  


After arranging Dean carefully on his stomach, the four of them left the room to sit around the map table in the war room. Sam and Cas watched Lily, waiting for her to speak. When she did it was not to address the situation with Dean. “Joshua.” She stood tall and met his eyes, watching as his gaze took in the patch over her eye. 

“Lily Sunder. I see that you are doing as well as can be,” Joshua said with a politeness that barely cover the disdain he felt. The tension in the room between them was palpable as they continued to stare at one another. “What my brethren did to you. Was unforgivable. You will find no course of action taken on my part for what you did in return.”  

The tension bled from her shoulders as a smile played on her lips. “Thank you, Joshua,” she said softly.

She turned to Sam and Cas and took a breath before addressing the situation with Dean. “Castiel, Ishim used to speak frequently of the possibilities of mating with me. It never settled well with me, of course. He could never provide more than hearsay when it came to human angel matings. The,” she paused as she searched for the word, “symptoms, that Dean is exhibiting are what Ishim used to speak of. He knew angels who knew angels who may have mated a human eons ago. All speculative and heard more than second or third hand. It was basically like playing the game telephone but with hundreds of angels and over thousands of years.” At Castiel’s confused look she went on, “You didn’t know any of this before mating him. Did you?” 

Feeling Sam’s eyes on him he quickly answered. “We never mated. Dean and I, we’re friends, family. Not mates... We’ve never...Dean doesn’t feel that way about me,” Castiel clarified. Sam scoffed and Cas quickly glanced at him in confusion and looked back to Lily. 

“Castiel, Ishim told me of angels mating humans and humans growing wings because of it. That is the only explanation for what is happening You’re  _ sure _ there isn’t more to your relationship with him?” Lily was prodding softly at the relationship that Dean and Cas shared. It made him bristle slightly in defense of it. Upon further examination of the feeling to defend, he realized he was doing so only because Dean would have done so. 

Cas spoke slowly, “Dean and I, we do share a profound bond. I was the one that pulled him from Hell.” Lily nodded as he continued. “In order to bring him back, I had to make him whole again. That included his soul. To do that I used my grace to meld it back together. It was the only way.”

Joshua’s voice brought their attention to him. “Castiel. What Lily says holds a modicum of truth. There are many things wrong with it, though. Humans and angels once shared time together. We were meant to watch over human kind, after all. Humans have a certain way about them, a child-like wonder about everything. As you know, they can be rather charming as well. When we would walk among the humans and share our time with them some,” he gave Castiel a pointed look, “a few would inevitably fall for the humans in their charge. Eventually, angels decided to mate them. It did not happen very often, but when it did, the humans would take on angelic qualities. Most lived for centuries longer than their human lives intended. They would heal faster when injured, never took ill, moved faster and more efficiently than a normal human.” Joshua looked at Sam, Lily, then back to Cas, “They were all still human, though.” 

“Ishim spoke of humans gaining wings only when they were worthy of them. They would be able to grow them to live with the angels in Heaven. Is there any truth to that?” Lily asked with a look of uncertainty.  

Cas shifted uncomfortably.  _ Would Dean want to go to Heaven, leave him here knowing that Cas wasn’t welcome there? _ Realizing that Dean would never leave Sam, he let that worry fall away to the back of his mind.

Joshua sighed softly. “While I spoke with our Father a great many times, this had never actually come up. He didn’t seem too concerned about humans and angels interacting the way they were. Whispers of humans with wings in Heaven made it to me. There was talk of them living in Heaven with their angel mate. There was also talk that they always inevitably perished, leaving the angel alone and unstable. These angels were locked up and when even Naomi’s  _ retraining _ failed, they were kept locked away.” Castiel’s eyes widened. He experienced, at Naomi’s hand, what happened to angels that weren’t following their path.

“Shortly after that it was decided that angel and human matings were to be forbidden. All offspring that were a result of any of the matings, along with their familial lines were cut off, the angels put down. The matter was laid to rest. Angels took to Heaven and continued about their business, watching from a distance so that these situations would be avoided.” Joshua was looking at Cas when he finished. 

“What about God?” Lily asked, making Sam let out another scoff that Cas knew was accompanied by an eye roll. 

Turning his attention to Lily, Joshua answered her with the patience one would give a child, “At that point our Father was not around. The angels were making the choices that needed to be made.” 

“Fucking Chuck,” Sam mumbled before speaking up clearly. “What about the grace? Anything like this ever happen before?”

Lily answered first. “Ishim never mentioned anything about humans and grace. Then again, he also never mentioned a human soul being repaired with grace either.” 

“Samuel, grace/soul bonds can happen. It is not something that  _ has _ to happen in an angel/human mating, although it can, and seemed to be a frequent occurrence in those relationships from what I had heard. I’ve never recalled there being any mentions of a human growing their own grace before, though. Like Lily mentioned, however, there has never been a human in all of mankind’s long history that had their soul put together with angelic grace as the binding agent.” Joshua looked from Sam to Cas, “Castiel and Dean continue to be pioneers in the world of human/angel relations.” 

“So you don’t know what’s happening to my brother?” Sam gave up any pretense of hiding his agitation over the situation. 

“It would seem that Lily is correct. Castiel and Dean have bonded. As unorthodox as it seems, the bond has taken root without being official. Intentional or not, Dean’s body believes that they are mates. More importantly though, his  _ soul _ believes it. The overpowering love is there and neither have a choice in the matter now. It would also seem that Dean is worthy of wings. I can only guess because he is the Righteous Man. He is finally becoming Cas’ equal.”

“He has always been my equal.” Cas was quick to inform Joshua of his opinion.

“You may feel that way, Castiel, but Dean has never had his own grace, he was not equal to angels. Now, he has  _ both _ and I can’t begin to tell you what he is becoming. What I saw in that room,” Joshua shook his head, “is neither human nor angel, but far more than either. Dean Winchester is becoming something new, unknown, and very powerful. More powerful, perhaps, than the the archangel that his vessel was intended for.”

Cas and Sam tensed at the new information. Cas saw what was happening, he could sense Dean’s grace and feel the power radiating from him just as easy as the heat from his fever. He was worried about it and to have it confirmed by Joshua was ever more worrisome. 

“What if this isn’t something that Dean wants? He never asked for this.” Castiel ignored the pang of hurt at the mere thought of being rejected by Dean in this way.

Joshua stared unblinking at Castiel for what felt like years before speaking again. “He did choose this. His body, his heart, his  _ soul _ , made the choice.” Joshua watched Castiel carefully. “Castiel, if you do not complete the mating and form an official bond with Dean, he may not survive the transformation.”

 

  


Dean woke to excruciating pain shooting through his shoulders and back. Cas was standing near him, still as a statue, staring at the wall above the bed. Dean wasn’t even sure that he was breathing. He kept quiet as he watched the angel, feeling a calm come over him. Just as he was starting to relax, another wave of pain rushed through his body, dragging out fresh screams.

Castiel started out of his thoughts and was next to Dean in his bed before the man could open his eyes. The touch of Cas against his skin, even through the scratchy fabric of the white dress shirt Cas wore, was cooling and brought a modicum of relief to Dean’s over-heated body. Dean curled into Cas, accepting his comfort, relaxing a little. Once his muscles were no longer spasming, he could think again and remember what was said before he passed out. He felt the tension coming from Cas as soon as he paid attention and Dean tensed. “Cas,” Dean called softly.

Cas’ body tensed further under Dean. “How are you feeling, Dean?” There was a distance to Cas’ voice that Dean hadn’t heard in a long time. A distance Dean doesn’t like. 

“I’ve had better days, Cas.” Dean let his body relax minutely before speaking again, getting right to the point. “Tell me all about it. What was, was that Lily Sunder?” Dean realized that someone had spoken before and he wasn’t sure who.

“It was,” Cas confirmed.  

Dean nodded against Cas’ chest. “So what did Lily mean? I need you to explain everything to me, man. Don’t hold anything back,” Dean insisted. He figured that he wouldn’t like the answer, but he needed to hear it anyway. He braced himself. What he wasn’t prepared for was the way the first few sentences hit him like a freight train and made his stomach drop.

“Lily and Joshua both said that your body has decided that we are mated. I tried to explain to them that you do not feel that way about me and that you most likely would be angry about this. They said that there is nothing that we can do about it. Joshua says that there is a chance you might die if we do not properly mate. I understand, though, if you don’t want to.” Cas seemed to hold in the breath that he didn’t even need. 

Clearing his throat Dean didn’t dare move from his spot on Cas, even if he wanted to look at the angel’s face. “Let’s go over that again. Slower, maybe. Start from the beginning and explain everything that they said. I need to completely understand what is happening here,” Dean suggested.

Dean laid with Cas for a good amount of time while Cas explained everything to him. It was a lot to take in and Dean had several questions that Cas answered as well as he could. Then they stayed there in Dean’s bed, both of their minds running on overdrive. Until finally, Cas shifted and Dean gave him room to move. “I don’t know if I’m...I don’t think...” Dean sighed, “Cas...” Dean trailed off.

Cas’ face closed off, his body stiffened with tension, or rejection, Dean wasn’t sure which. “I think I will give you some time. To think,” Cas said while avoiding meeting his eyes. 

“Alright. Send Sam in here in half an hour, would you?” Dean asked. He didn’t know how Cas was feeling but he also didn’t want to make him feel guilty, or upset him. Anymore than he appeared, anyway. Cas nodded and quietly left the room. 

Dean laid on his stomach and contemplated everything that Cas had told him. Rolling his shoulders, he thought about the achy feelings that were threatening to take over once more. The fact that his body seemed to calm down, pain easing, when Cas was around—especially when Cas was touching him—was something that he had to take notice of. He also didn’t want to put any names on it. He was still laying in that position, with Cas and his wings on his mind when Sam knocked softly. He could tell it was Sam, he could almost hear his breathing and the way he shuffled his feet in a way that Cas never did. 

“Come on in, Sammy.” Dean turned his head toward the door as it opened and Sam shut it closed quietly behind himself. 

“Hey, Dean.” Sam moved to take a seat at Dean’s desk, Dean assumed so that his big moose body wouldn’t jostle and hurt him. 

“Do you know?” Dean was back to staring at the wall. 

“Yeah, I was there when everything was explained.”

Dean nodded. “I don’t even have a chance to let it sink in that I’m apparently sprouting fucking wings, then this gets dumped on me.” 

“Well, in all fairness, it is  _ the reason _ you are sprouting wings,” Sam’s voice was careful and he purposely choose to use Dean’s own words to ease him into things. It was something Sam did, probably without even thinking about it.

“Yeah, and that whole deal. Did you have any idea about… Well, before Ishim and Lily we never knew that human and angels...you know.” Dean waved his hand in front of him as if it explained everything. 

“Dean, it would stand to reason that they would. From what Joshua was saying humans and angels used to spend a lot of time together. Less time, in fact, than you and Cas have been spending together.” Dean scoffed. “Hear me out. He never told you about his grace inside you. Neither of us suspected it either. Now suddenly…” Sam waved his hand in Dean’s direction. 

“Yeah, would have been nice to know the surgeon left the scalpel inside when he put me back together.” Dean knew he wasn’t as irritated as he came off to Sam. He was still hurt that Cas didn’t tell him exactly how he was able to put his tattered soul back together. He never knew that, just as Cas held Dean’s own soul in his hands, Dean held a piece of Cas inside him. 

It made sense to him thinking of it that way. It was beyond intimate. He was positive there was no other angel who would have been willing to give up a piece of themselves like that. Only Cas.  _ Selfless bastard. _ “It’s more like stitches, I think, Dean. Ones that don’t dissolve.” 

“Holy stitches. Great.” Dean shook his head and rested it on the bed avoiding Sam’s stare. 

“All of that aside. Are you gonna do it?” Dean heard the cautious optimism in Sam’s voice and squeezed his eyes shut against the cotton sheets, feeling the coolness on his heated skin. 

“I don’t know, Sam. That’s...I mean…” Dean couldn’t even bring himself to speak it let alone give it the consideration that it deserved. 

“Yeah, I get it. It’s like marriage, but more...” 

“Permanent,” Dean finished for him. “Dude, do you not understand? I do this I can’t just...this is huge. It isn’t like some crush in a movie. Something goes wrong, I can’t bounce back from it after a divorce. There is no divorce Sam. It is nothing like a marriage.” Dean was getting worked up again and he could feel the  _ wings _ under his skin, the feathers moving against his muscle like ants trying to dig their way out.

“Not to mention, Sam, if I did this? I wouldn’t be… I would live a whole hell of a lot longer than you, man. That has never been part of the plan. I was never meant to outlive you. That isn’t something… I don’t...don’t ask me to do that. Not again.” Dean’s voice was cracking at the end and he looked away from Sam, tears threatening to spill over. 

“Dean,” Sam’s voice was soft. He didn’t dare look at his brother now. He knew the look on his face. He could practically hear the words before Sam even spoke them. “If you don’t do this, there is a chance you could die. I know you don’t want to outlive me, but I don’t know if I could sit here and watch you die if there was a way to save you. I know you don’t want to talk about it,”

“Then don’t. Leave it alone, Sam.” Dean’s voice was gruffer than normal, his throat tight.

“No, Dean. Listen to me. You and Cas. Man, you two have had this thing for years.” Dean scoffed at Sam’s words but didn’t say anything. ”Don’t. You know it’s true. Even if it was never acknowledged by anyone out loud, it was there. Is  _ is _ there. Obviously. You can’t ignore it anymore. Your body is literally telling you to pay attention to whatever you’ve been shoving away for years now. Maybe it’s time to listen.” 

Sam moved his chair closer to the bed. When he’d situated himself so he could lean forward, Sam continued, “Dean, the physical manifestation for your feelings for Cas, and his for you, is about to burst free from your back at any moment now, quite possibly killing you if you don’t mate with him. Whatever hang ups you have that have continued to hold you back all these years? Let them go.” 

Sam was quiet for a beat. Dean had nothing to say. He wasn’t sure that he could deny anything that his brother said. Not when his body was screaming that he was lying if he denied it. He heard Sam take a defeated sigh, “Just, give it some serious thought, Dean.” 

Sam quietly left the room, leaving Dean to think things over. He could feel the heat on his back growing more intense and knew before long he was going to need Cas to help cool him off. He hated that his body was betraying his feelings. He hated that he couldn’t even think this whole thing over without feeling like he needed Cas. Frustrated, he attempted to get comfortable, insistent on riding out as much of the pain as possible before he  _ had _ to have Cas calm his body. 

Dean wasn’t sure when he had dozed off. All he knew was that he was waking up to searing pain lancing up his spine. Before he realized he was screaming, Cas appeared in the room in front of him. “Dean!”

He barely registered Cas’ cool hands grabbing his shoulders as he screamed again. He felt the fire inside of him rear up; it felt like it was trying to push out of him, reaching for something. He felt his back contort, he was sure that when the garish sound of flesh ripping open rang in his ears. With a crack of his spine he crumbled into Cas’ arms. His last thought was how he finally understood what Claire and Jimmy meant about the comet. Then everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

 

  


Cas made it into Dean’s room right after he heard Dean’s scream. The hunter was up on his knees on the edge of the bed. Cas reached for him and nearly let go when Dean let out a blood curdling scream.

That was when he felt it. The pull of Dean’s grace and soul. It was beckoning him, calling out to his grace. It was a call that Cas was unable to answer, not that he didn’t want to, but Dean had to consent to it. He had to want it.

Cas watched in horror as he felt the anguished cries of Dean’s soul as his wings pushed out, flesh going white, thinning until it was nearly translucent. The shape of feathers outlined under his skin, tiny veins straining and pulsing as they had no more give. Cas held Dean’s shoulders tight as the wings finally stretched the flesh as far as it could go. The sound of flesh tearing never bothered Cas, he was a warrior and accustomed to the terrible noises and smells that came with being on the battlefield.

The sound of Dean’s skin opening against his will, creating more pain simply to accommodate something that he clearly didn’t want, was enough to make Cas sick. As the wings emerged Cas saw it happen in slow motion. The way the newly formed bones and muscles pushed and spread until they were free. He watched as the cells separated, torn apart, the veins releasing the blood and covering the feathers in patterns Cas would not likely forget.

Cas took in a breath as the force of the wings finally emerging pushed back against Dean, causing his spine to break clean in half. Out of instinct alone, Cas pushed grace into Dean trying to heal the break, only to have Dean fall into his arms. Cas heard Sam slam into the room. They both stared down at Dean hanging in Cas’ arms. Two bright white wings, stained with blood and pieces of his flesh, hung limp at his sides. Cas held his breath and knew Sam was doing the same.

 

  


Tears threatened to spill over in Cas’ eyes. Such a human reaction to the situation. He felt no blood coursing through Dean’s body. The grace faded to a low pulse that was nearly snuffed out. After three minutes and twelve point two seconds, Sam spoke, “Cas.” It was a question. It was a statement. It was fear. Sam’s voice held the same feelings that he was feeling. Cas wasn’t sure he could live without Dean.

Five minutes thirteen point seven seconds. That was when Cas saw it. Dean’s flesh was slowly knitting itself back together. A soft teal glow came from his back. Cas felt the blood in his body begin to pump again, his sob caught in his throat as Dean’s chest began taking in oxygen once more.

“It’s going to be okay, Sam.” Cas shifted Dean in his arms and held him closer as he watched Dean’s body knit itself back together. It took another four minutes and twenty-three seconds before he felt Dean’s spine fuse back together. When it did, he shifted Dean and set him gently on the bed face down, careful not to touch his wings.

Sam moved to stand next to Cas and reached out as if to touch Dean’s wings. “Don’t.” Sam’s hand paused and slowly pulled back and Cas reigned in his possessive feelings to explain. “Our wings are, very personal. The fact that you are seeing them and are not an angel is…” Cas didn’t finish. He was sure that Sam understood.

Cas heard Sam swallow. “How long?” Cas only shrugged. He wasn’t sure how long it would be until Dean finally woke up. He was sure it was only taking this long because Dean was something new. Cas didn’t even need to try to feel the power emanating from him. He worried that Dean would be different. He quickly cast that thought away. Dean couldn’t be changed at the very core even as a demon. Becoming this new type of angel wasn’t going to change that.

It took twenty-eight minutes and fifty-three seconds on the dot before Dean stirred. He made little moaning noises first. So Cas asked Sam, “Would you mind getting more water for when he finally wakes up? I’m not sure if he will need it but it will be better to have it than not.”

Sam nodded and left in the direction of the kitchen. That was when Dean’s wings began to shift and move, arching up, stretching out the length of the room, knocking over various items from the desk and off the wall. Cas was going to have to teach Dean how to keep his wings in a different plane. No sooner had Cas thought that than the beautiful, strong, wings of Dean Winchester arched and _reached_ for Castiel.

Castiel’s gasp was almost perfectly in sync with Sam’s, which alerted both Dean and Cas to his return. “Holy shit,” Sam’s voice came across as Dean lifted his head, blinked at them and rolled his shoulders. He paused immediately, eyes going wide. A fraction of a second was all it took for Dean’s fear to cause his wings to puff out in a display of aggression. Dean didn’t move as his wings spread wide. “Dude, Cas.” Sam’s voice was quiet and full of awe.

“Sam, you need to leave.” Cas was eyeing Dean’s wings, one of them was still reaching for Cas while still trying to appear larger and dangerous. Little did Dean or Sam know just how dangerous he could end up being. He had to get this under control.

“Why?” Sam sounded offended.

“Just trust me, Sam. It would be best for you to leave until I can talk with Dean.” Sam scoffed and handed Cas the cup, the contents spilling over the side onto Cas’ shoe. One more look at his brother and Sam left. Cas moved slowly to the door and closed it quietly.

“Dean, you need to relax and calm down,” Cas spoke quietly and serenely, hoping to soothe Dean’s nerves.

To his credit, Dean took a few deep breaths and visibly relaxed. As he did, the feathers of his wings smoothed down and pulled closer to his body, not pressing against his back but almost surrounding him in a protective gesture.

“The first thing I think that we need to work on is how to hold your wings in another plane of existence.” Cas looked at Dean who was giving him a confused look.

“Dude, I have _wings_ and that is one of the first things that you say to me?” Dean looked almost offended. He reached out tentatively and touched his own wing, eyes wide and mouth open slightly, “Wow.” He pushed his fingers into the feathers and raked them down and Cas suppressed a smile when he saw Dean’s body shiver.

“Cas. I have wings.” He looked over to Cas who smiled softly at him.

“Yes, you do, Dean.” Cas wasn’t sure if he should get any closer or not. He stayed at his spot near the door. “How do I—” before he could finish the question Dean’s wings flapped a little and arched high before angling towards Cas.

“Woah. That’s...that’s gonna take some getting used to.” Dean rolled his shoulders again and his wings moved with him, slowly pulling back against his back but not fully.

Cas swallowed hard and was able to breath again once the wings were no longer reaching for him. “Dean, how are you feeling?” Cas asked cautiously.

Dean looked up at him, taking a moment to assess, “I feel amazing actually. I guess I didn't need to…” Dean's eyes filled with emotion and the lamp next to his bed flickered. He didn't need to finish the thought, that he didn't need his mate. Cas was unclear though, what Dean was feeling.

“It's a good thing, Dean. Now you don't have to do something you don't want.” Cas’ voice was flat and emotionless. Dean's mouth opened but before he could say anything else, Cas continued. “Your wings are soiled. Perhaps I can explain how to use your grace to clean them?”

Dean looked at once relieved and conflicted about the subject change. “Yeah, that would come in handy. Man, cleaning the bunker is going to be so much easier now.” Cas’ lips twitched, threatening a smile. Apparently Dean had accepted his situation. One of the many things Cas adored about his hunter, he was so easily adaptable.

Cas realized that Dean was staring at him, curiosity and confusion written on his face and emanating from him. “Is something wrong, Dean?”

Dean continued to stare at him for a few moments longer then he shook his head, “Nah, man. We’re good.” Cas nodded.

“So, Angel 101. Let’s get to it, then.” Dean smiled big at Cas. The look on his face warmed Cas from the inside and Dean’s smile faltered slightly before growing impossibly brighter. Which only heightened the feeling growing under Cas’ breast.

Over the course of the next few weeks together they learned that Dean was able to use his grace easily. Too easily. Usually, all it took was an errant thought and Dean was able to accomplish things. His wings were free of flesh and blood before Cas was even able to finish the sentence explaining how to tap into his grace. Dean was ecstatic, Cas was taken aback. Dean used cleaning the bunker to practice; he cleaned everything. The books in the library were dusty and making Sam sneeze? A fraction of a second later there was not a speck of dust in the entire bunker.

They also learned that while Dean no longer required sustenance he was still able to enjoy it. Nothing tasted like molecules as it did to Cas and, in fact, Dean would rave about how much better everything tasted. “It’s almost like a flavor enhancer, Cas. It’s amazing.” It left Cas feeling a bit bitter that he couldn’t enjoy his favorite food, PB&J, while at the same time feeling awkwardly attracted to the sounds that Dean would make when he ate. When Cas would flush in embarrassment and arousal each time Dean ate, he would find an excuse to leave the room. Dean would look up at him with wide eyes and stare as Cas walked away.

Cas had to teach Dean how to control his human emotions and desires quickly. Thankfully, Dean was a quick study, with years of putting his feelings, emotions, and desires second after Sam, and everyone else, to use. Every time that Dean and Sam got into an argument bulbs around the bunker shattered. Dean would growl, wave his hand, and they would be brand new before he stormed away.

There were other times, usually late at night when Sam was fast asleep and Cas was wandering the bunker while Dean was in his room, that the entire bunker’s lights would come on and fluctuate before several of the lights would burst, only to have things settle and return to exactly the way things were before it happened. Cas often wondered what emotions Dean was going through to cause that kind of reaction, worried that he was upset with the situation.

The last straw was when Dean was going on about how he was really craving the pie from a specific diner that he had been to in Alabama. Before they knew it Dean had disappeared, leaving Sam and Cas staring at an empty spot where Dean once stood. Before Cas was even able to process what happened Dean was back with a shocked faced. “Dean, where did you go?” Cas’ voice was calm but nervous.

“I, uh...may have ended up in that diner. I scared some people.” Dean looked worried, but all Cas got from him under the feelings of worry was extreme excitement.

“Yeah, dude. That tends to happen when someone pops into the middle of a diner out of thin air. With _wings_.” To Sam’s credit, he kept his voice calm even though Cas could feel the tension simmering below the surface. No one even mentioned that Dean was the only angel that was able to fly.

It took longer to teach Dean how to keep his wings on another plane. He complained that he liked having them out. “Cas, it isn’t that I don’t want to make sure people don’t see them, it’s just uncomfortable. Keeping a _part of myself_ in a completely different plane of existence leaves me with an annoying buzz on my spine.” He rolled his shoulders and Cas could imagine it must not be comfortable for someone who hadn’t had wings their entire life.

They came to a compromise. For at least four hours a day, and when they were around Sam, Dean would keep his wings hidden. Cas found himself seeking out Sam’s company more frequently so that he wouldn’t have to watch Dean’s wings stretch towards him when they were together. Even moreso, he hated the feeling of his own wings trying to react. Dean didn’t know the reason behind it and, if Dean didn’t want to be Cas’ mate, there was no way Cas was going to tell him.

Dean always looked at him with confusion during those times. Cas assumed it was because of the wings. Cas would use his grace to keep the blush from filling his face as he ducked his head away from Dean, making an excuse to find Sam. Cas knew that the transition and learning period was difficult on Dean. He just hadn’t expect it to be so difficult for him, as well.

  


Dean had learned a long time ago to adapt to new situations. He had to. Being a hunter didn’t afford him the time to adjust like civilians did. He took the same mentality with becoming an angel. He didn’t need sleep. He didn’t need food, although he learned that he still enjoyed it and frequently indulged in it. He also had a harder time hiding emotions. But he was learning how to do it. He was getting irritated at having to use his grace to replace all the bulbs in the bunker. 

He fought with Sam over little things. He knew it was only because Sam was frustrated with him and Dean was angry that Sam was, or could be, right about the first big argument they had after he finally became an angel. 

“Dean, I see you’re getting the hang of having wings.” Sam grinned at him. 

“Yeah, it’s not too terrible. I keep knocking shit all over the place though. Man, I’ve broken so many things. Thankfully the wings come with an instant fix-it.” Sam laughed and closed Dean’s door. 

“So, you didn’t have to make the mating official. You survived it.” Sam was being cautious. Dean bristled a little, his wings opening a little more while his feathers puffed out. 

“Yeah, Sam. Didn’t have to do that. What did I tell you? I survived. I mean,” Dean spread his hands out in a “ta-da” motion and gave Sam a pointed look. 

Sam looked aggravated at it, though. “Dean, you realize that the  _ only reason  _ you have become,” Sam gestured to all of Dean, “this, is because your body, your... _ everything _ believes you to be mated with Cas. Right?”

Dean stood stock still and stared Sam down. They stayed there, staring at one another, for two minutes. Somewhere in the back of his mind the actual amount of time was provided,  _ one minute and thirteen seconds _ , because that was helpful. “Fine, Dean. Maybe you should consider giving it some real thought. Take Cas and his feelings into consideration.” Sam turned to leave. 

“Seriously, Sam? You think I haven’t thought about all of this?” Dean’s voice was low and dangerous, the lights in his room flashed brighter. “How can you think that it isn’t the only thing I’m thinking about?  _ I have wings, I am a fucking angel now _ . All because my body is confused.” Sam snorted and Dean’s anger flared, along with it all the lights in the bunker. 

“Dean, I think you need to calm down.” Sam looked around the room as he spoke. 

“I think you need to leave this shit alone, Sam. I don’t want to talk about it again. I didn’t  _ ask _ for this, it’s something that happened  _ to _ me and, now I am trying to deal with it the best I can!” Dean raised his voice slightly and the sound of bulbs popping through the bunker could be heard everywhere. The emergency lights came on and Dean took a deep breath. 

“Leave.” Sam hesitated and opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but Dean cut him off. “Now.” 

As soon as Sam was out of the room, Dean calmed himself. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he waved his hand in front of his face. The emergency lights turned off and he could feel everything in the bunker return to normal. 

He smiled as he thought about how he felt like a Jedi now. “These are not the droids you’re looking for,” he murmured to himself. 

A quiet knock came from his door. Dean could feel Cas’ presence on the other side, could feel concern vibrating from the other angel. “Come on in, Cas.” 

The door opened slowly and shut quietly as soon as Cas stepped into the room. “Is everything okay, Dean?” Cas stood a few feet from him, blue eyes boring into his own. Dean swallowed hard. 

“Yeah. Sam and I just had a little disagreement is all.” He shifted his shoulders as his wings stretched and moved forward towards Cas. He watched as Cas’ whole body stiffened. 

“Should I ask about what?” Dean shook his head no, not wanting to admit that he was the reason for their argument. Cas’ eyes narrowed as he watched Dean. “Alright, I was just about to see Joshua and Lily off. I should go.” 

Dean watched Cas go with an uneasy feeling itching under his skin. He stood there while trying to figure out why, but the feeling left when Cas did. Dean decided to pay more attention to his feelings when he was around Cas. 

Cas was an excellent teacher in all things angel. Dean watched him as he explained things to Dean carefully, but not like he was a child. Every time  Dean was able to accomplish something that seemed almost mundane, Cas would smile at him. It made Dean’s chest ache with happiness and he smiled back, which would cause a wave of happiness and desire that wasn’t his own, to roll though his body. 

He watched Cas and his reactions closely. The problem with that was that Cas was an expert at hiding his physical reactions. Dean soon figured out what was happening. He would say something that would make Cas laugh and then almost immediately he would feel a wave of happiness bordering on giddy. 

When he would make a simple, yet childish joke or gesture around Cas, as soon as Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, Dean was hit with a wave of exasperated fondness. It was clear to Dean that he was feeling some of Cas’ emotions somehow. It was obviously an angel thing. It made things harder for Dean and his own emotions every time he felt Cas’ happiness, or what felt like deeper feelings, even a spark of desire that Dean  _ knew _ wasn’t his.

Dean knew long ago that he was suppressing certain feelings for his angel.  _ No, for  _ Cas _ , not my angel. _ It didn’t help that he also wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that he wouldn’t dare entertain stupid ideas like being with an angel. Dean knew he wasn’t worthy of Cas. There was no way that, as a human, he wouldn’t have dragged Cas down and left him broken and without wings. He’d done it before and they were only friends at the time.  _ They were still only friends. _

Dean was an angel now, though. If he was able to have wings because he was worthy, then wasn’t that a good sign that he could figure some things out? Maybe give things a shot? Apparently that was what  _ should _ happen since he had a giant neon sign that sprouted from his body in the form of wings telling everyone how he felt. Even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. 

“May as well at least come to terms with the idea,” Dean sighed and went to find Cas. He found him in the library with Sam, cataloging information. He regretfully hid his wings before walking into the room to join them. Even in the other plane, Dean felt the pull of his wings as they attempted to stretch towards Cas. He didn’t think much about it; he had already figured out what it meant the first few times it happened and saw Cas’ reaction.

Sam and Cas both looked up at Dean. Cas’ smile was small and held so much that Dean’s chest ached. 

He could talk to Cas about it later. 

Later did not come up for a handful of weeks. Dean found himself alone with Cas in the garage. He had finished washing Baby, which he insisted on doing by hand, and Cas had come to ask him if he thought that maybe he would be able to go out in public. “Cas. We’re still working on making sure I don’t smite Sam when I try to heal him. I’m not sure I’m ready to be in public yet.” 

“If that is how you feel, Dean I trust your judgement.” Cas turned to leave and before he knew it Dean stopped him. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean took a towel and buffed an imaginary spot on Baby. 

Cas turned back around. “Yes, Dean?” 

Dean opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I umm..” He couldn’t get further than that. He felt Cas’ confusion and concern tingle at the edges of his awareness. He was getting better at not allowing Cas’ emotions too far in. Not bad considering he hadn’t even brought it up to Cas. He was figuring it all out on his own.

“Dean, is everything alright?” Cas moved a few steps closer and Dean looked up. 

“Yeah. It was nothing. Nevermind.” Cas’ emotions closed off.  _ Fuck. _ He knew he messed up somehow. He just wasn’t good at the talking thing. Cas nodded and left.

Soon after the incident with Cas in the garage, Dean realized that Sam was avoiding him. He also recognized that he was being grumpier than usual. Snapping at Sam over a dirty bowl in the sink may not have been the most pressing thing on Dean’s mind. 

“Dean, I’m going out for...something.” Sam walked into the library where Dean was fussing over the order of the books on a shelf, knowing that it would piss Sam off. 

“Whatever, don’t touch Baby.” Dean didn’t even need to look at Sam to feel the power of the bitch face he was getting. 

“Fine.” Sam turned and stalked off. It was an hour later when Cas found Dean in his room, listening to his music louder than he needed to. 

“Dean, is everything alright? Sam asked to use my truck to get out for a while. He mumbled something about ‘asshole brothers’ and then left.” Dean could feel the concern again and it only made him angrier for some reason. 

“Cas, we’ve told you those stupid air quotes are stupid!” Dean snapped at him. Dean almost regretted the look of hurt on Cas’ face. Almost. Cas tilted his head in that stupidly adorable way he always did and studied him. 

“Dean, are you feeling uncomfortable?” Cas asked suddenly. 

“With all your staring? Yeah.” Dean looked away from him up to the ceiling. 

“I mean, physically. How are your wings? Causing any discomfort?” Cas’ voice was calm and Dean allowed that calm to wash over him. 

He sat up and rolled his shoulders. “Maybe.”

“Would you mind bringing your wings forward and letting me take a look at them?” Cas was holding back his emotions and Dean couldn’t get a read on him. 

Dean stood up and turned his back to Cas. He was getting better at bringing his wings forward and had been practicing several times a day to make sure that he could do it with just a thought. He stripped off his over shirt and then reached back and grabbed the back of his t-shirt to pull it over his head. As soon as it was off his back, Dean’s wings manifested in front of Cas. Now that he was giving it more thought, he could feel the way his wings were a bit uncomfortable. He couldn't exactly place  _ why _ that was though. He moved them, hitting some things on the walls and even bumping Cas a couple times. 

“It would help if you would _ hold still _ , Dean,” Cas choked out frustratedly.

Dean huffed and stood still, doing his best impression of Cas he could manage while feeling the way he was. 

“I believe I understand the issue,” Cas spoke slowly and Dean felt a tingle of discomfort mixed with desire before it was gone, leaving Dean to wonder if he really felt it at all. 

“What is it, Cas? Am I molting?” Dean tried to joke but stiffened when Cas didn’t answer right away. “Wait,  _ am _ I molting??” Dean tried not to panic but he was still new to the angel thing and was worried he was losing feathers or some shit.

“No, Dean. However, the constant use of your wings in a physical manner, and moving them from plane to plane, has caused some feathers to...you need to...your wings need to be groomed.” The nervousness was practically dripping from Cas. 

“Alright, so how do I do that? I can’t exactly reach the whole wing span.” Dean already knew the answer and shivered in anticipation. He had run his fingers through his feathers, especially late at night, and knew what it could feel like. 

“I can assist you. It is usually something that angel brothers and sisters do for one another,” Cas said carefully. 

“Dude, I am  _ not _ comfortable with the idea of Sam touching my wings.” Dean felt sick just with the idea. 

Cas chuckled quietly behind him. “I understand. You may want to sit somewhere comfortable. This might take a while. You have a very impressive wing span, Dean.” Dean grinned and decided not to turn that into an innuendo. “Although, it looks like the areas in the most need are the feathers that are out of your reach.” 

Dean cleared his throat, “Yeah, I have...umm…” Dean cleared his throat again, “I may have been familiarizing myself with my wings.” Dean hoped that he was keeping the blush from his face when he thought of  _ why  _ the feathers he could reach were not in need of grooming. 

“That is understandable, Dean. You are still getting used to having wings.” Cas was doing a good job of hiding his feelings, and it was throwing Dean off. So he settled down on the bed, his wings taking up most of the room and dragging on the floor. 

It took a minute for Cas to finally touch Dean’s wings. It took so long that Dean wondered if he was actually going to do it at all. He trusted Cas to know about these things and be honest about them, so Cas’ hesitancy to touch Dean’s wings concerned Dean. He figured that meant Cas wasn’t going to do it even though he offered. Grooming wings was similar to grooming hair, right? 

Finally, the first touch came. Cas tentatively dug and pulled his fingers through parts of his wings that he was unable to reach. Although he thought it impossible, Dean was sure he felt every single feather part, felt the heat of Cas’ fingers as he moved them through his wings, fixing any feathers that had gone askew. 

Dean managed to hold back most of the shivers and trembles Cas’ fingers in his feathers caused, but he couldn’t help the sudden and unavoidable heat that pooled in his belly. Biting into his lip, he closed his eyes and concentrated on trying to keep his body under control. The closer to the base of his wings that Cas got, the harder it became. 

Then Cas’ fingers slid over a spot that caused him to shiver and take a sharp breath. 

That was when he felt arousal, more powerful than he had before, slam into him. He knew it wasn’t his own. He barely caught the whimper that tried to escape his throat at the idea of Cas wanting him so badly. 

That was it. 

Dean couldn’t do this. 

He needed to cool down. 

“Okay, Cas. I think I’m good.” He felt the sudden loss of Cas’ touch when Dean returned his wings to the other plane. He took a deep breath, feeling Cas’ confusion and turned. He saw Cas holding his hand in front of his face inspecting it. His fingers glistened as he rubbed them together.

“Cas, what is that?” He asked slowly.

Cas looked startled as he looked up and a wave of embarrassment washed over Dean. “Um, it’s your wing oil. For grooming your wings.” Cas’ eyes were dark as he stared into Dean’s. Dean’s stomach did flips at the idea of closing the space between them and kissing Cas. 

Dean swallowed hard. He wasn’t ready. 

“I think I’m ready to try going out in public now,” Dean said, breaking eye contact to look down at what he was wearing. 

“Now?” Dean looked back at Cas when he asked. 

“Yeah. It’s still,” Dean looked down at his watch, “dude, it’s not even midnight. We could head to a bar. Have a couple drinks. Just try being in public. I think I’m ready. I’ve successfully healed Sam a few times without smiting him. I think I can handle a couple drinks around strangers.” Dean walked around Cas, noticing his fingers were still absently rubbing Dean’s wing oil between them.

Dean gulped at the sudden thought of how that oil came from his body and Cas was rubbing it into his skin. Dean felt a moment of possessive pride roll through him at the thought of marking Cas as his.  

When he reached the door, he looked back at Cas to gesture him to follow, only to see him with that head tilt staring at Dean like he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “Come on man. I’d like to make it to the bar before final call.” Dean gestured to Cas who nodded and walked out of Dean’s room. Dean hoped that he would be able to actually get drunk. 


	5. Chapter 5

  


It didn’t take them long to get to a bar. They walked in, Dean putting on the charm as he walked up to the bartender; a hot thing with dark brown hair up in a messy bun, ringlets falling down to frame her face and brown eyes sparkling with interest. Her loose fitting black tank didn’t do much to cover her body, her lacy black bra peeking out from underneath enticingly, definitely getting her larger tips. Moving closer to the bar, Dean returned the appreciative once-over she had given him. He noticed that she was also wearing skin-tight blue jeans with a studded belt hanging from her hips and combat boots to top it off. 

Dean’s smile grew and she winked at him. “What can I get you, handsome?” 

Dean licked his lips and watched her track the movement. “I’ll take a whiskey, double, and whatever you’ve got on tap.” Dean winked back at her and dropped a few twenties on the counter, “Leave the bottle, sweetheart.” 

She raised her eyebrow at him and grinned. Dean angled himself towards her with his elbow on the bar as she poured him a shot. “So, you here alone?” She looked up as she set the bottle down, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

“Got my buddy with me,” he smirked.

She looked over Dean’s shoulder and he felt a sudden rush of disappointment, anger, and hurt. His smile faltered a little and he looked back over to Cas who was watching the entire interaction, face blank. As soon as Cas realized that Dean was looking at him in curiosity, the emotions abruptly stopped. 

“Looks like you are managing well enough on your own. If you need me, I’ll be around.” There was something cold in Cas’ voice that left Dean feeling empty, sending a shiver up his spine. 

He nodded anyway, “Yeah, alright, man.” He watched Cas walk off towards the other end of the bar where there was a jukebox and he turned back to the girl, slipping back into his cocky womanizer facade. 

“You’re friend doesn’t get out much, does he?” She looked back to Dean after watching Cas walk away. 

He shook his head, ignoring the guilt that was nagging at the back of his mind. “He’s just a little awkward until you get to know him.” She hummed noncommittally.

Dean sat there until the entire bottle of whiskey was gone. He was enjoying the company of the bartender, Valerie, and feeling a bit proud of himself for being able to function out in public without an incident. 

Valerie was impressed with Dean’s drinking ability and his liver. “You don’t even seem to be a bit tipsy.” 

He shrugged, “What can I say, alcohol just doesn’t affect me the way that it does everyone else.” 

She nodded and smiled, looking around before she leaned over the bar with a predatory smile, giving Dean a magnificent view down that loose fitting tank. “Looks like your friend might be getting lucky tonight. Guess that frees you up for the evening?” 

Dean narrowed his eyes at her in confusion before looking around the bar. Over on the far side of the room, between the jukebox and the pool table, Cas was standing with his forearm resting against the wall and his hips angled towards another guy, smiling as the shorter blond man laughed at whatever Cas said he thought was funny. Something that probably wasn’t even a joke. 

The sudden flare of possessive jealousy that ran through him made the lights above the bar near him flicker. 

“Woah, that’s weird. I wonder if there’s something wrong with the wiring? I should call Dennis and let him know.” She went to grab the phone, while asking Dean if he’d be interested in possibly going back to her place after her shift. 

Dean barely heard her as he rose from the stool, never taking his eyes off of Cas.

He forced himself to walk slowly, taking in the easy way the angel moved as he talked to the other man. Dean’s anger flared when the douchebag casually touched Cas’ arm. 

The audacity of some  _ asshole _ touching  _ his angel _ . 

The lights around them flickered spasmodically, intensifying the closer Dean got to Cas, growing angrier with each step. Cas looked up, alarm on his face, right at Dean when the light bulbs all over the bar began to pop and shatter. People around them started yelping and the bar grew noisy while everyone wondered what was happening. 

Cas’ eyes were wide and Dean could feel worry pouring off of him. Along the edges of his consciousness he could feel the fear and confusion of the bar patrons, but Dean was so upset with what he was seeing that he didn’t even have time to register it. 

Dean glared over at the guy now huddling near Cas, one of the fixtures overhead sparking the same way that the lights in the barn did that first night Dean met Cas. “Dean, you need to calm down.” 

Dean growled at Cas and slipped his fingers around his wrist before pulling him from the bar, rushing past it and leaving a very confused Valerie staring after them. She screamed when the mirrors and bottles of liquor began breaking behind her. 

As soon as they were outside Dean turned and looked at Cas, “Hold on.” 

Before Cas could respond, they were standing in Dean’s dark room at the bunker. “Dean? What is goin-” Dean covered Cas’ mouth with a hard kiss, pulling him close. Cas’ hands pressed against Dean’s chest and pushed him away. 

“What are you doing, Dean?” Cas growled in frustration. Dean could feel the heat of Cas’ anger, his worry, and the spark of hope as he stood there glaring at Dean. Fuck, that just made Dean want to kiss him again. 

“Were you planning on going home with that guy?” Dean took a deep breath and calmed himself as the lights in his room flared to life, flickering before dying down and leaving them in darkness once more. Dean didn’t bother making a move to turn the light on, he could see just fine in the dark now and he was sure that Cas could as well. The dark would make it easier for Dean to be able to admit things to Cas that he could barely admit to himself.

Neither made a move. They stood there staring at one another. Cas finally broke the silence, “Were you planning on going home with Valerie?” 

Dean scoffed, looking down at his feet. He wasn’t sure  _ what _ his plan had been. His silence left Cas feeling hurt, which seeped into Dean, making Dean hurt. 

“ _ Dean _ ,” Cas’ voice was quiet in the dark. Dean spoke before Cas could finish whatever it was that he was going to say. 

“Cas, I don’t know if I was going to. I don’t think I was. I mean, I feel like I barely have a handle on this shit as it is. All I know is that tonight I, I may have panicked a little.” He looked back up at Cas and saw his head tilt again. 

“Why did you panic, Dean? Did the bartender say something to you?” The concern in Cas’ voice made Dean’s heart ache. He laughed, which only confused Cas. 

“No, man. I mean, before that. When—” Dean swallowed and took a deep breath, “when you were  _ assisting _ me with my wings. I felt the need to go out. Put some space between us. I needed...I just had to...to...” Dean didn’t know how to explain that he needed to not be alone with Cas, or how to tell Cas that he was a coward that couldn’t own up to the way that he was feeling. 

“Did my assistance tonight make you uncomfortable, Dean? I was only trying to help.” Cas sounded like he was shutting Dean out again. Which was the last thing that Dean wanted.

Dean couldn’t help but laugh almost hysterically. Cas stood stock still in front of him while Dean settled and finally spoke. “Fuck, Cas. No. You have done nothing to make me uncomfortable. Damnit. Cas every time you touched my wings, when you ran your fingers through them...I can’t even explain it. The feeling was...I wanted nothing more than to  _ be _ with you.”

Cas stiffened. “You wanted me, sexually, you mean.” 

Dean let out a frustrated noise and looked up to his ceiling. “No. I mean, yes, but more than that, Cas.” Dean ran his hands through his hair. “Look, I’m not good with the whole talking about emotions thing, you know that. If I was, then maybe it wouldn’t have taken fucking wings to tell me how I was feeling about you.” 

Dean chanced looking back down to Cas. “I mean I  _ knew, _ or at least a part of me did, but I just never wanted to admit it. This,” Dean gestured to his back, “all of it. Is confusing as hell, man. I mean, you all say this happened because my body thinks that we are mated, or should be or something, and yet, you seem like you don’t even want this, and then tonight at the bar...” Dean sighed. “What am I supposed to take from that? I don’t know how to tell you how I feel if you’re not feeling the same way.” 

Cas’ eyes were soft. Dean thought he saw pity in them and he swallowed. He knew it. Cas didn’t feel the same and was about to tell him as much. “Dean.” Cas’ lips turned up into a smile and he waved his hand, lighting the room. “If I did not love you completely and without end, your body would never have decided that we were mated. Even as you denied it to yourself, your body, your heart, and your soul all recognized that you felt the same about me.”

“Really, Cas? That something you’ve always known?” Dean was curious now. 

“Dean, I’ve always known that I was deeply and wholly in love with you.” Cas smiled and stepped a little closer to Dean, causing him to feel like he couldn’t breath. “What Joshua had to tell me was for this to even happen, we had to feel the same for each other.  _ Lily _ had to assure me, Dean. I thought that this was something  _ you _ didn’t want. I was so sure that you were angry with me, that you wanted nothing to do with me.” 

“Cas, I’d never—” 

“But you have in the past. As painful a memory as it can be, that history is there between us.” Cas’ smile turned sad, remembering everything they’d been through, all the unhappy memories. 

“So you know? How I feel, I mean,” Dean asked hesitantly. 

“I hoped I did. Your wings helped to assure me, even if it was frustrating because I thought that you didn’t want me.” Cas looked over Dean’s face. When he didn’t seem confused about what Cas said he added, “You figured it out, didn’t you?” 

“I can be perceptive. I made some guesses. Good to know I was right.” Dean smiled at him. “You weren’t really going to go home with that guy were you?” 

Cas’ lip twitched and he looked up at Dean. “What if I was?” 

Dean growled, “I wouldn’t have let that happen.” 

“Obviously.” Cas raised his eyebrow at Dean. 

“I couldn’t stand the thought of another person touching  _ my _ angel.” Dean’s voice was low, and he was looking down at his feet again. 

“I’ve always been yours, Dean.” Cas’ hand moved to lift Dean’s face up to look into his eyes again. “The question now is if you’re mine.” The idea of being Cas’ finally and forever made Dean’s body tremble slightly, making Cas smile. 

Dean nodded. “I want to make you mine, Cas. I don’t ever want to see you even considering another person. I’m worthy of this now, I want to be yours, too.” 

“You’ve always been worthy, Dean,” Cas insisted, without the slightest hesitation. Dean held back his protests. “Dean, if we do this, make this official, there is no going back. This is until one or both of us perish.” 

“I know, Cas. That scares the hell out of me like nothing else, but I want this. With you. You’re it for me.” Cas nodded at him and moved his hand from under Dean’s chin to cup his jaw. Dean watched as Cas’ eyes searched his. Satisfied with whatever he found, Cas moved closer and kissed him deeply. 

Dean melted into the kiss with a happy groan. He wrapped his arms around Cas, pressing their bodies flush against one another. Cas’ moan shot arousal right through Dean and when he nipped Cas’ bottom lip he felt Cas’ echoing arousal simmering on the edges of his own. 

“Cas.” Dean’s voice was rough from his rising lust. “I can, I think I can feel your emotions.” 

Cas pulled back to look at Dean. “We usually have the ability to sense things, like honesty or dishonesty. Feeling the emotions though, that’s new. I wasn’t sure you were feeling it as well. Is that why you would look at me like you have been?” 

“Yeah, is that why  _ you’ve _ been looking at me like that? You can feel  _ my _ emotions?” Dean watched Cas’ face as he nodded. Then dipped his head back down to kiss  _ his angel _ once more. That was something that Dean was sure he would never get tired of. 

“So, Cas,” Dean kissed down Cas’ jaw as he asked, “how do we do this? How do we make this thing official?” 

Cas moaned when Dean bit down on the side of his throat. “It’s fairly simple, really, but also very intimate, Dean.” 

“Mmm, more intimate than this?” Dean asked as he pressed his hips against Cas so he could show Cas the way he was rapidly growing hard at the idea. 

“We have to form a bond, a grace bond, it will connect us together for the rest of,” Cas hissed as Dean bit his collar bone, “for the rest of our days.” 

Dean licked a stripe up Cas’ neck, then pulled back enough to look him in the eyes. Cas’ cheeks were pink, his lips were spit slick, his eyes dark with desire.  _ Fuck, he’s beautiful. _ “Yeah, Cas. How though?” 

“We have to push our grace out to one another, and we have to be touching for it to happen. Once that happens our grace will basically combine, or weave together. We will hold a part of one another inside the other.” 

Dean smirked, “So touching? I mean, that would include sexual activity then?” The thought of being connected to Cas physically while bonding himself to him for the rest of their lives in the most intimate way possible made Dean’s heart race and he felt something— _ was that his grace? _ —inside him pushing out. 

“I can feel it, Cas.” He rested his head against Cas’ forehead. “I can feel my grace reaching out to you.” Dean watched as Cas’ eye lit up with one of the biggest smiles that Dean had ever seen. It was something that he wanted to see more of. 

“Dean.” Cas began slowly removing Dean’s clothes. They both knew that with just a thought, or a hand wave, they could both be naked in an instant and speed this along. Somehow, though, taking it slow this first time was just as important as the bond they were about to form. 

As soon as Cas pulled Dean’s shirt off, Dean reached out and began undressing Cas. There had been more than once that he wondered what Cas looked like under the ill-fitting clothing that he still wore. He took his time, unbuttoning and revealing Cas’ skin slowly. 

The tan and tone skin that was revealed to Dean was mouth watering. He smiled at the freckle above Cas’ nipple and bent over to kiss it, laving the nipple, hearing Cas’ sharp intake of breath, and he smiled against the hot skin. 

Dean knelt down, removing Cas’ socks and shoes. He slid his hands up to unbuckle the belt, unbutton his pants and, before hooking his fingers in the waistband, Dean stood. He kissed Cas hot and deep as he pushed the pants and boxers down. Before Cas could step out of them Dean used his grace to remove them., Sure it may be cheating a little, but Dean was okay with that. 

Dean stepped back to take in Cas for the first time. It was a glorious sight, but Dean felt the loss of contact with him immediately. While he felt his grace push out towards Cas, eager to finally complete the bond that they both craved, Dean felt like something was missing. 

“Bring them forward, Cas. I want to see them. Please?” Dean whispered.

He saw the moment that Cas knew what he wanted. Dean watched as the most  _ beautiful _ black wings materialized. Cas stretched them out, knocking items from the desk and wall, like Dean did the first day his wings emerged. Dean simply waved his hand and all the items aside from the bed and desk were gone. Dean couldn’t help but stare at Cas’ wings, they were magnificent, shiny and asking to be touched.

Cas stepped forward and repeated Dean’s actions, holding his wings close to his body. While Cas was kneeling in front of him, Dean was unable to stop himself from touching Cas’ wings. The pure  _ want _ that shot through Dean as Cas moaned when Dean’s fingers moved through his feathers made Dean’s knees weak. 

Cas kept kneeling in front of Dean while he pulled his pants down and made them disappear. Looking up at Dean, his voice was deeper and rougher than Dean ever thought possible, “Bring them forward, Dean.” Then he licked a hot wet line up the underside of Dean’s throbbing cock. 

The lights in the room flickered and Dean’s wings sounded like electricity when they appeared. Cas took him in his mouth slowly, humming around his cock as he did. Dean wasn’t sure where Cas learned to do that but he was grateful. Still, jealousy spiked at the thought of Cas doing this to another guy. 

Cas pulled off and stood, feeling the need to soothe Dean when he sensed the errant emotion. “Dean, there is no need to be jealous. You’re the only one I’ve ever done that to. The only one I’ve ever  _ wanted _ to do that to.” Dean sighed into the touch as Cas ran his fingers up Dean’s jaw again. 

Dean pressed his fingers deep into Cas’ feathers and slowly pulled them down, feeling the velvet soft smoothness of his wings. Dean had only seen Cas’ wings in shadow before, and while that always looked amazing, Dean’s imagination just didn’t compare with the reality. 

Dean couldn’t help but touch Cas’ wings.  _ If touching his wings felt half as good for Cas as it did when Cas was grooming Dean’s wings for him…  _ Cas moaned again as he kissed a trail down Dean’s neck and softly bit his chest. One of Cas’ hands found its way back down to his dick and his long fingers wrapped around it, pulling gently as Dean continued to run his fingers through Cas’ feathers. 

“Fuck, baby. Keep that up and there may not be…” Dean felt a cool wetness around his dick as Cas bit his throat gently. Cas’ hand sped up and the pressure and heat of whatever Cas was doing increased. “ _ Fuck _ , Cas...” Before Dean could stop him, Dean was spilling over on Cas’ hand. Lights could be heard outside in the hall bursting as Dean shuddered through his orgasm.

Cas kissed Dean’s lips softly and smiled against them. “You see Dean, something that you will need to understand as an angel is there’s no refractory period.” A simple, barely there touch of Cas’ finger and Dean was aching and throbbing against Cas’ own erection. 

“What did you do there? Towards the end?” Dean needed to know. 

Cas grinned at him. “There are so many ways you can use your grace, Dean.” 

Dean leaned in to kiss Cas hard, one hand in his feathers and the other pulling their bodies together to rut against him. No refractory period be damned, if he didn’t get inside his angel soon he may very well cry. Cas wrapped one hand around Dean’s back, fingers making their way into Dean’s feathers, bringing  the other up to his mouth, licking and sucking Dean’s come slowly from his palm and each finger. 

“Fuckin’  _ hell _ , Cas,” Dean groaned, wondering how in the world Cas was able to be so deliciously dirty. 

Dean’s head dropped against Cas’ shoulder,  Cas’ hand moving through his feathers, causing Dean to moan, his wings wrapping around and reaching for Cas. Dean looked to see Cas’ wings stretching around his body to reach towards Dean in turn, the tips of their feathers coming together just as Cas’ hand found that spot on his wing close to his back that made him cry out in pleasure.

“Cas!” Dean went weak in the knees but Cas easily held him up,  gently rubbing that spot over and over again. Eventually, Dean felt warm liquid run down his shoulder blade and over his back, causing him to shiver as it dripped down into his ass crack. 

“What, are you...?” Dean shuddered with need. 

Cas pulled his hand out from Dean’s wing, holding it in front of them, dripping with Dean’s oil just as it had earlier, and Cas grinned as he slid his hand behind himself. Dean’s brain short-circuited as he realized what Cas was doing.

“Holy hell, Cas, where did you learn to do these things?” Dean bit his lip as he heard the wet sound of Cas’ fingers sinking into his own body, preparing himself for Dean. Something that could most likely be accomplished with a little grace. Dean appreciated that not only was Cas doing it this way, which was incredibly hot, but that he was using Dean’s own oil to do it, marking him up in a way that had Dean feeling possessive. 

“That is a contradiction, Dean. Hell by definition can not be holy.” Dean snorted at Cas, “And you know I’ve been around for a—” Cas panted and tilted his head up, his eyes closed, lips parted as he let out a few broken gasps, accompanied by the sound of his preparation. “—been around for a very long time, Dean. You do realize you didn’t invent sexual intercourse.” Cas gave Dean a cocky grin and pulled his hand from behind him.

Dean knew Cas had to have used a little mojo to help the prep go faster. Dean pulled him closer and kissed him deeply once more. “Turn around Cas,” he whispered against his lips. 

“Dean, I’d rather see—” 

“Trust me,” Dean cut him off and turned Cas around. Taking a moment to admire the lean and delicious body in front of him, he licked his lips. When his eyes fell on Cas’ amazing ass, he saw the smears of oil on the cheeks and between, where he knew Cas was ready for him to sink in. 

Dean groaned at the idea of sinking deep into Cas’ tight heat. He reached out and grabbed Cas’ wings a little rougher than was probably comfortable and pressed up close to Cas, barely letting the head of his cock tease against Cas’ ass. When Dean’s fingers found what he was looking for, Cas arched back into Dean with a deep guttural moan. 

Dean felt the hot slick oil slowly drip out over his fingers, coating them and bringing a smell that made Dean’s dick twitch with anticipation. He leaned over and pushed his face into Cas’ wings. His nose pressed against the feathers where his fingers were slowly rubbing gentle circles over his oil gland. Dean took a deep breath and his whole body was wracked with desire and  _ need _ . 

Cas’ oil smelled faintly like apples and spices to Dean. He pressed further in and swiped his tongue at the spot where his fingers met Cas’ oil gland and was unable to hold back the moan when flavor burst across his tongue. He was vaguely aware of Cas moaning and whimpering as he continued to rub and lick at the oil that was slowly covering his face. 

It was Cas’ pleading that brought him back to himself. “Dean, please.” With one more deep breath and swipe of his tongue, Dean worked a bit more oil out onto his fingers before pulling back enough to allow Cas to turn around. Cas’ eyes went wide when he saw Dean’s chin covered in his oil. He moved to kiss Dean, the huffs and whimpers Cas made as he went from kissing Dean to licking the oil from his chin had Dean moving his oil covered hand down to his cock. 

The slick sound of Dean quickly stroking his cock, marking it with his angel’s oil, brought Cas’ attention to it. “Fuck, Dean.” Cas’ eyes were hungry and full of need. He moved back slowly to the bed and carefully crawled onto it, adjusting his wings to lay comfortably. 

Unable to resist any longer, Dean moved to the bed and between Cas’ legs. He could feel his grace reaching for his mate in anticipation. He pressed Cas’ legs up until the backs of Cas’ thighs were pressed against the front of his own. He looked down at Cas and something inside his chest twisted with affection for his angel. 

He was about to have Cas in every way he ever wanted and in ways he never imagined possible. The love that was shining through Cas’ eyes was enough to melt him. Dean grasped his cock and lined up with Cas’ hole, slowly pressing into him. As soon as the head of Dean’s dick slipped past the tight ring of muscles he fell forward, catching himself with one hand as the fingers of his other gripped into Cas’ feathers on the bed. 

“Uhh, Cas, you’re so tight.” Dean forced his eyes open and looked at Cas to find him with his eyes rolled back in ecstasy, his neck stretched and his mouth open in a silent moan. 

Dean slowly sank further into Cas’ wet heat. With each inch deeper, they both made beautiful noises. Finally, Dean was pressed flush against Cas, buried as deep into him as he could go. They both stilled and watched one another as they adjusted to the simple feel of being joined.

“Dean, you feel incredible.” Cas smiled at him and Dean huffed a laugh that made Cas gasp at the movement. 

“Cas, you have no idea.” Dean took another deep breath, his fingers combing gently though Cas’ feathers as he stared at him, unbelieving that all of this was real. He smiled when he felt the pull inside him again. 

“So, we just, let our mojo go?” Dean was rewarded with a huge smile and Cas tightened around him, causing Dean to buck into Cas’ heat further. 

Cas nodded, moaning, “Essentially, yes. We push our grace towards the other, with the intent of bonding. You might even feel your grace trying to reach out. I know I can feel mine.” Cas smiled softly. 

Dean nodded, “Yeah. Yeah okay.” 

He closed his eyes and concentrated on just letting his grace push out and find his mate. At the same time, he pulled out slowly and eased back into Cas. 

Cas moaned and then Dean felt something, both hot and cold. His chest tightened and what felt like vines of what must have been Cas’ grace slowly spread through his body, lighting him up in a way that his own grace didn’t. Warmth suffused him and he opened his eyes, looking down at Cas as he tried to maintain a steady rhythm with his hips. 

Cas’s eyes glowed a bright blue as he moaned Dean’s name and reached for him. Dean leaned down and Cas’ hands immediately grabbed at Dean’s wings, pulling him impossibly closer.  

Dean lost himself in that moment. 

The feeling of Cas surrounded and filled him, and he felt Cas’ need acutely. Every cell, to a molecular level, sang out as he felt Cas’ pleasure build, felt Cas inside him as their grace tangled together. 

Feeling both his and Cas’ pleasure so intensely, Dean knew that he wasn’t going to last. He reached his oil slick hand between them, grabbing Cas’ cock tightly, beginning to stroke, Dean leaned in for another deep kiss that felt like fire passing between them. 

Dean was unaware of how bright the bunker became,  every light flaring and dimming before popping, crackling and going dark. 

All Dean saw was the nearly blinding glow from Cas’ eyes as they both reached orgasm. He nearly blacked out as the most intense feeling of completion he had ever experienced filled him. 

Dean rested his head in the crook of Cas’ neck, his chest heaving with each breath, lungs feeling clear as they took in the unique and delicious scent that was his angel.  _ His mate. _ A smile of happiness spread over his face at the thought.

_ It is amazing. Something I never thought would happen. _

Dean sat up. “Cas? Did I just…hear you in my head?” 

Cas smiled such a beautiful, sated smile and Dean heard,  _ It would seem that we have bonded and can hear one another. Like ‘angel radio’ but for just us. _

“Dude, the finger quotes, I was able to  _ see them _ in my head. Even in thoughts they are not cool,” Dean frowned. 

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Cas shifted under him but Dean was not letting him move, not now that he finally had him. 

Dean shook his head. “Just.”  _ This is going to take some getting used to. I just came to terms with a lot of things the past few months and this is just…. _

Dean let his thoughts trail off and his mind and heart were filled with love, contentment, and joy. Dean’s eyes widened, “Is that, you?” Cas nodded and pulled Dean down for a kiss. Dean’s chest felt so full he was sure he was going to explode, then suddenly his whole being felt like it  _ expanded _ as he was flooded with every memory of Dean that Cas could push into him, letting him know just how much he loved him.

Dean pulled back from the kiss with a gasp. 

“I am in love with you, Dean Winchester,” Cas assured him. “All of this, we will get through together.” 

Dean nodded, not allowing the tears that threatened to actually fall. He wasn’t going to be one of those guys that cried after sex. “Together.” 

Cas pulled Dean back down to lay comfortably on Cas’ chest and Dean let the feeling of contentment wash over him. 

“Cas?” He kissed Cas’ neck, resisting the urge to lick and taste him. 

“Yes, Dean?” 

“I...I love you, too.” If Dean thought that he was going to explode from feelings before, it was nothing compared to the euphoric feeling that permeated his every atom. 

And if a tear spilled over, who would know but just the two of them?

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the new art!!!   
> [NSFW-ish Art!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10910580/chapters/24335187)
> 
> If you enjoyed and want to come yell at me about it you can find me on Tumblr as [FormidablePassion](http://formidablepassion.tumblr.com)  
> I promise I’m nice.


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